Tarbash’s Blog

thanks for the memories!

Saw my first Longhorn…. frickin thing is huge!!!  about the size of a VolksWagen Beetle… and for some reason.. she sure is ‘ornery…. < my mama sez alligators is ornery because thems big teeth hurt they gums >…

So far, here’s what I know about Austin….

1. Austin shuts down for rain, hail and black ice.
2. There is no fast lane.
3. There is no right of way.
4. Helmets for Motorcycle drivers?  "Heck No, I’m from Texas.. we don’t need helmets"… yeah, and thank you for cleaning up the gene pool when you crash and spill your brains on the freeway..
5. Austin is an island of Liberals in a sea of Rednecks.
6. My next door neighbor is hot…
7. My next building neighbor is hot-ter…
8. If you manage to cut off your arm in some sort of freak accident, or just being plain stupid…. the hospital nurse marks it as a "flesh wound"…
9. and when Doc Jimbo Jim finally sees you… he goes… "It’s ust a scratch"
10. www.drafthouse.com… <— cinema that serves you no-limit beer… yep, only in texas.

yeeehaaaaa!

"stay in new york once, but leave before you become too hard…  stay in california once, but leave before you become too soft…"

helloooo.. texas!! yeeehaaaaa!! giddy yap.. git a’long…

"dadgum.. everything is shore big n’ texas.."

i can’t believe i moved again…

california drivers are retards when it comes to rain.

hello, it’s raining… slow the F@rg down!!..

things to take heed.

1. an exit ramp has a posted speed limit for safety reasons…
unless you’re michael schumacher, in a formula 1 racecar and with wings, flaps, spoilers and aielerons that generate enough downforce on your car to go 200 mph in rain… go ahead… drive like a crazed monkey on meth down the exit ramp…  i have no problem with that..

2. do not assume that since you are driving a C-class MB…. a CL430 …with all the gizmos and dohickeys.. ABS, EBD, Stability control…. that these will save your retarded @ss…these electronic nannies have their limits…

3. karma is a bitch.

long story short… today….7:06 am.. slight drizzle… CL430 cuts me to get to the exit ramp… ( so i do the obligatory flash high beams, horn and single finger salute.. or the hawaiian good luck sign)

he’s wayyyyyy over the exit ramp speed limit….  i see his tail swing out and he starts ping-ponging…. one..bam.. two..bam… three…bam… and stops at the right hand side… i slow down… he looks at me… i give him the thumbs up….and start crackin’ up…. heehee

" you are verrry bad man.. NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!"

ok..i did call 911

This blog is devoted to the miscellaneous everyday annoyances that make driving in san diego
so much fun!! <note sarcasm>. ….seemingly minor things….that can bring traffic to a grinding halt    due to "rubbernecking."

come one!! nothing to see here
move along now!!

Shakespeare:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, she’s yours,
If she doesn’t, here’s the poison, drink up.

Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
Don’t worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she doesn’t comes back within some time forget
her.

Patient:
IF you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she doesn’t come back, continue to wait until
she comes back.

Playful:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
*If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again, repeat*

C++ Programmer:
if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she= new CShe;

Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the
Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that….

Bill Gates:
If you love someone,Set her free,
If she comes back, I think we can charge her for
re-installation fees but tell her that she’s also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist:
If you love someone,
Set her free, She’ll evolve.

Statisticians:
If you love someone, Set her free,
If she loves you, the probability of her coming
back is high If she doesn’t, the Weibull
distribution and your relation was improbable anyway.

Salesman:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, deal!
If she doesn’t, so what! "NEXT".

Schwarzenegger’s fans:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
SHE’LL BE BACK!

Insurance agent:
If you love someone,
Show her the plan ….
If she ever comes back, sign her up,
If she doesn’t, keep follow up with her and never give up!

Physician:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, it’s the law of gravity,
If she doesn’t, either there’s friction higher than the force or the angle
of collision between two objects did not synchronize at the right angle.

Mathematician:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, 1 + 1 = 2 (peanut!),
If she doesn’t, Y = 2X - log(0.46Y^2 + (cos(52/34X)) x 5Y^(-0.5)c) where c
is the infinite constant of no turning point.

Nowadays’ style:
If You Love Someone,
Set it free,
If It Comes Back, It is Yours
If It Doesn’t, Hunt it Down and Kill It…!!! OR
PERHAPS REPORT TO IMMIGRATION THAT SHE/HE IS AN ILLEGAL

If you love someone
WHY IN THE FIRST PLACE SET HER FREE???
DUMBASS!!!

I have too much junk. I had two boxes of ethernet wires and two boxes of kitchen stuff, the rest was books, CDs, two computer monitors ( why? dunno ),

three days.. too late for a garage sale… cash for junk.

yes …i hate moving.

why do i sign up for trainings?
hehehe.. free food.

nice… plus i get to come in late.. nyah-ha-ha-ha

i love trainings…

crochette training? .. SIGN ME UP!!

12,000 individuals filed for bankruptcy in one day for san diego…
dang.

ouchie.. my arm hurts